I Know What I Know

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So the week’s over, at last. I made it through the week pretty well, I suppose. The dissertation is… well, the dissertation is. I stared completely tearing apart a chapter today, and I think I took out a bearing wall. I don’t think anyone was injured, but I need to get my toolbelt out this weekend and make some pretty major repairs.

I’m heading out to the bar in a few minutes, mostly so I can let Shelley have the house to herself. I’ve been in a foul mood for the past week or so. I’m in one of those places where I in my head I hear myself saying

“Would you stop that…that BREATHING…you do it all the damned time! In and out and in and out! Don’t you ever get tired of it, for crying out loud?!?! And that damned blinking thing you do…JEEBUS! Don’t your eyelids ever get tired?!!?!”

I feel like Ishmael in Moby Dick, who tells us

“Some years ago – never mind how long precisely – having little or no money in my purse, and nothing particular to interest me on shore, I thought I would sail about a little and see the watery part of the world. It is a way I have of driving off the spleen, and regulating the circulation. Whenever I find myself growing grim about the mouth; whenever it is a damp, drizzly November in my soul; whenever I find myself involuntarily pausing before coffin warehouses, and bringing up the rear of every funeral I meet; and especially whenever my hypos get such an upper hand of me, that it requires a strong moral principle to prevent me from deliberately stepping into the street, and methodically knocking people’s hats off – then, I account it high time to get to sea as soon as I can. This is my substitute for pistol and ball. With a philosophical flourish Cato throws himself upon his sword; I quietly take to the ship. There is nothing surprising in this. If they but knew it, almost all men in their degree, some time or other, cherish very nearly the same feelings towards the ocean with me.”

And so, with that said, I’m going to get myself to sea the bar for a couple of hours.


Written by srogers

July 2, 2011 at 2:01 am

Posted in Uncategorized

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