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The Induction of Pain

I have to walk on the side of my left foot.
I have to walk on the side of my left foot because it hurts when I walk normally.
It hurts when I walk normally because my big toe is swollen and sore.
My big toe is swollen and sore because it is injured.
My big toe is injured because I slammed my foot at an odd angle, very hard and very fast, into the floor.
I slammed my foot at an odd angle, very hard and very fast, into the floor because I slipped suddenly while rounding the corner into the living room.
I slipped suddenly while rounding the corner into the living room because when I stepped on the rug it shot out from under me.
The rug shot out from under me because it is a non-non-slip rug on a hardwood floor.
It is a non-non-slip rug on a hardwood floor because two weeks ago I pulled up the carpet in our living room.
I pulled up the carpet in our living room because our house smelled of cat urine.
Our house smelled of cat urine because one (or more) of our cats had urinated on the carpet.
One (or more) of our cats had urinated on the carpet for undisclosed reasons.
The reasons are undisclosed because our cats are unresponsive when we ask them questions.
Our cats are unresponsive when we ask them questions because they cannot speak, nor can they understand English, so far as we know.
They cannot speak, nor can they understand English, so far as we know, because, we believe, they lack the capacity for language.
We believe they lack the capacity because they never speak and seem relatively unresponsive to linguistic utterances, but the reason is ultimately undisclosed. So far as we can surmise, their lack of language is related to the development of their brains and the anatomy of their throats.
It is related to the development of their brains and the anatomy of their throats for undisclosed reasons.
The reasons are undisclosed for undisclosed reasons.

Therefore, I have to walk on the side of my foot for undisclosed reasons.

The word “pain,” as I understand it, derives from Middle English, which derives from the Old French “peine,” which derives from the Latin “poena,” which derives from the Greek “poine,” which means, among other things, “penalty.” I am paying that now. But before that, it is believed that “pain” is related to the older, Indo-European root “kwei-,” which means “to rest, be quiet” (hence the words “requiem,” “quiet,” “quiesence,” “tranquil,” “quit,” “coy,” and “acquiesce”).

And that’s what I’m about to do.

Perhaps in my dreams tonight I will find an answer to why I always seem to injure my feet.

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Written by srogers

July 2, 2011 at 2:03 am

Posted in Uncategorized

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